In the U.S., around 100 million adults are caregivers. Yes, 100 million. This means that around 1 out of every 3 adults takes on the responsibility of caregiving for a family member. Of those, 53 million care specifically “for a spouse, elderly parent or relative, or special-needs child” — a significant increase from the 43.5 million reported in 2015.1
If caregiving for one person wasn’t enough, around 25% of those who provide caregiving for an adult also have minor children in the home. These individuals are known as the “sandwich generation.”1 While the difficulties of caregiving for one individual can’t be understated, the sandwich generation is reported to be significantly more likely to experience both financial and emotional difficulty than those who are caregivers for an elderly parent.2
Unfortunately, with a focus on caring for a family member — and some of those individuals also managing full-time jobs on top of it — caregivers often find themselves putting the needs of others ahead of their own, even going so far as to sacrifice their own health. According to the National Institute on Aging, caregivers often forget to keep up on their regular health visits and checkups. They’re also more likely to experience mental as well as physical health problems.3
As important as it is to be taking care of those family members who can’t take care of themselves, it can actually negatively affect a caregiver’s health if they’re not careful about it. If you are a caregiver or know one, there are signs you can look out for to tell if caregiving is wearing you down. Look for signs3, 4 like:
- Experiencing fatigue or exhaustion
- Feeling sad and/or overwhelmed
- Being irritable or impatient
- Trouble sleeping — sleeping too much or having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
- Feeling lonely, isolated, or disconnected from others
- Starting to resent the one you’re caring for, or other family members who aren’t caring for them
- Experiencing physical symptoms like pain or headaches
- No longer being interested in the activities you used to enjoy
So how do you prioritize your health and practice self-care as a caregiver? It’s important to note that beyond generally caring for oneself, self-care is described as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health worker.”5 Self-care is more than just doing small activities to feel good; it’s about building and practicing healthy habits that genuinely focus on keeping your whole self as healthy as you can be.
Stay active
Make your health a priority by getting active. Even if it’s a 30-minute walk at the end of your day or three separate 10-minute walk breaks throughout the day, moving your body is key. If you can make a little more time, find a workout activity that you’ll enjoy and look forward to, like a specific exercise or dance class.
Eat healthy and drink water
You already take time to eat during the day, so focus your efforts here on making healthy choices. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables with plenty of protein for a well-balanced diet. Do you have vitamins, supplements, or prescriptions that are vital to your health? Use a tool like a pill planner to help you stay organized and on top of that portion of your health routine.
Get plenty of sleep
Adults are recommended to get between 7-9 hours of sleep per night. But the quality of sleep you get is just as important is getting enough sleep in the first place. Limiting blue lights from electronics and creating a dark, quiet environment are two things you can actively work on to help you get quality sleep.
Practice stress-reducing activities
Whether it’s yoga, meditation, or breathing exercises, find a calming activity that can help you reduce stress. Even short breathing exercises have been shown to be beneficial in relaxing and sleeping better.
Schedule your regular checkups
Many caregivers put off making their own doctor’s visits in light of focusing on the person they’re caring for. Make sure to make these visits a priority so you can stay on top of your health and detect any concerns early.
Set goals
And write them down! Do you want to take a yearly vacation? Do you want to make time for a monthly lunch date with friends? Set small — or big! — goals for yourself to work towards and look forward to. Making small steps towards these goals will help ensure you’re making time for yourself.
Be cognizant of challenges you’re facing and focus on their solutions
Are you not getting enough sleep? Find where your problem with sleep lies and work out a solution. Are you not spending any time for yourself? Block out 30 minutes or an hour of your day where you won’t compromise on giving that time to anyone else. Whether it’s sitting down with a book, doing your daily movement, or planning something else you’ll look forward to doing every day, this will help you carve out time for yourself.
Ask for help
Whether it’s a small task or a big job, most of us could use help with certain things. While caregiving, the weight of the extra responsibility you’re shouldering can feel like a lot. You may find that people want to help, they just don’t know how to offer. When you’re asking for help, be specific. Instead of a general ask about someone helping with your mother’s care, ask them if they’d be able to help bring your mother to an appointment from 2-4 p.m. on Wednesday or do the grocery run on Sunday afternoon. The specificity of the request, including approximate end dates and times, helps someone know exactly how — and how long — you’re asking for their help.
Above all, make sure you’re giving yourself credit for the care you are giving. What you are doing is extraordinarily selfless and is making a difference, even when you’re not told that nearly enough. Give yourself grace, work towards your personal goals, and take time to spend on you.
References
- Guardian Standing Up and Stepping In. https://www.guardianlife.com/reports/caregiving-in-america
- University of Michigan Department of Phychiatry “Sandwich generation” study shows challenges of caring for both kids and aging parents. https://medicine.umich.edu/dept/psychiatry/news/archive/202212/
- National Institute on Aging Taking Care of Yourself: Tips for Caregivers. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/taking-care-yourself-tips-caregivers
- Mayo Clinic Caregiver stress: Tips for taking care of yourself. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/caregiver-stress/art-20044784
- World Health Organization Self-care for health and well-being. https://www.who.int/health-topics/self-care#tab=tab_1